Jennifer Segura

Approach

How we collaborate

My approach to mediation has grown and changed over the years, for sure, but there are a few things that stay consistent; 1) the clients are ALWAYS the decision makers, 2) I will do WHATEVER it takes to keep my divorcing clients out of court, 3) the children are ALWAYS insulated, and 4) I try and bring fun and laughter into every mediation I do. Life is hard, conflict is hard, the unknown is hard. One of my greatest mentors educated me on a saying from the buddhist philosophy, which is “suffer joyfully.” Most of our lives we are suffering through one thing or another, so you might as well, suffer joyfully. This idea resonated with me so much I actually tattooed it on my arm, to always remind myself to find the joy in whatever life was throwing at me. And it helps! I approach each case I work on from the perspective of how I have felt through hard times in my life, whether it was purchasing my first home, waiting to hear that my baby was healthy after having a high risk pregnancy, praying my career would survive yet another change. Whatever dark time it was, it was a time of fear. And more than anything, a fear of the unknown. Will we get the house (we did!)? Will my baby girl be ok (she was!)? Do I have the stamina to start over AGAIN (I do!)? Even though, 9 out of 10 times the situation ends up fine, it doesn’t change the fact that there was a point in time that I was terrified. I had no idea whether things were going to be OK. But I always held on the the power of positive thinking and would create a goal that was far beyond the conclusion of whatever was scaring me, and I would focus on that goal. It was always a fun goal, for example, a concert with my daughter after she was born healthy. I focused on feeling her in my arms, listening to music on a San Diego summer night. And that was one of the best nights of my life…that concert, with her in my arms. How I use this in my practice, is I remember how I felt and I know this is how you are feeling now. So I do for you what I know I needed during those times. Updates, clarity, transparency, communication, information. I do my very best to provide a safe space for you, so you do not feel so alone as you go through your process. I try not to make you wait any longer than you have to about important information or issues. This process can be grueling, but it doesn’t have to be devastating.

Family Mediation, Divorce, Pre-marital mediation, Financial planning in divorce.

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